The 18th March 2005... The Ides of March ...The March of Idiots... The Winter of Our Discontent...
Oh SHIT it has taken me a week to get over this one.... Let us rename the lithe and slithersome Camaleis III to "Prozac 50 mg three times daily"
Seriously folks, it was really REALLY awful... (it was so bad that it even made Hugo's submarine joke look good)
OK so as we all know, indeed as the whole bloody Northern and Southern Hemisphere knows....The first mark is the Orange Buoy...which, from this day forward will be renamed as 'Napoleon' (after Roachie) AND you have to go AROUND IT to get to the next marker... It is not good enough to just get there and STOP.
Background:
The burglar Roach...that stealer of handicaps, snared the helm this night... a bit like Napoleon
The Battle of Waterloo took place on June 18, 1815. The French ruler, Napoleon Bonaparte (aka Roachie), had been deposed and exiled the year before. But he escaped and built up an army in France (aka Mosman). The other European powers (Chapman, Griffo, Fox and Driscoll) declared war on Napoleon, and the two sides met at Waterloo (Mosman) in Belgium (Sydney). The battle was tough, and Napoleon made mistakes in communication, leadership, and judgment that made him lose. He had been a great leader before, but he tried to take over too much of Europe (Mosman). Waterloo was his final defeat, and he later died in exile. So to "meet one's Waterloo" means you've been comprehensively beaten.
Where did he go wrong, only in three places
The Start, The Middle and The End
The Start:
It is true , we were competitive.. but it had about as much sex appeal as a road traffic accident and it was downhill from there on...
See Napoleon focus on his steering /// look at his TWO Josephines offering support.. the beautiful Jannelle ---- and the beautiful Karen ... (Aha .. Devil Woman meet thy match) AND YES we did beat one Flat Bottomed Blue and White Barge across the start... But after that ..
Calling "Starboard" on a hooning 42 foot Nautica wins the "Thresher Award"... fortunately Nautica pulled up before sinking us...aka tackus interruptus ... See photo: below... we were lucky to escape with our lives. (for those of you who don't know... for Thresher substitute Camaleis..
http://www.wintersteel.com/files/Articles/USS_Thresher.htm
Oh! and have a close look at the left photo...the Flat Bottomed Blue and White Barge is already ahead of us...
The Crew TRIED to help
But the next few slides show just how big a problem we had that night .... The battle was tough, and Napoleon made mistakes in communication, leadership, and judgment that made him lose.
THE MIDDLE:
The Orange 'Napoleon' Marker.. observe closely... Roachie sails closer to it than any other skipper in the history of Twilight sailing... then stops... short never to go past it again...and he cannot make it around and so changes direction and sails THE WRONG WAY ... TOWARD THE BRIDGE in a desperate attempt to get around... Please note the fleet disappearing of IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION... Please note the risus sardonicus on the skipper... please note the red Chinese lucky charm flying.
Hoi !!! You are sailing the wrong Bloody Way Roachie !!!!
Finally he turned
up the harbour...
And
...
Remember the smart ass comments from the week before..
"Have you got the big Green Block of Flats, Foxy"
"Careful about the big green block of flats. Foxy"
Well look at the following photos and WEEP.....
Please note that the fleet is STILL nowhere to be seen...
And yet another Camaleis 3 CLASSIC PHOTO for the Archive... Nobody behind us...
The crew really really tried to help... Even put the spinnaker pole up in record time...
And we were still the LAST Yacht on the Harbour at Dusk
Even a Chinese visitor and a Chinese lucky charm couldn't help us...
THE END:
THE RACE RESULT
LAST
So endeth season 2004/2005 Summer ... to cap it off.... we also didn't win the lucky dip draw of the trip for two to Lord Howe.
Also, you should remember, we had the Chinese Lucky Charm stored down Geoff's pants for the Summer Season, I guess 'someone' used up all its secret powers... Geoff you can have the lucky charm back now....
How could one man get it sooo wrong.
Enjoy Winter...See you all in October 2005
Advert: Job Vacancy
Wanted: One replacement 'Devil Woman'. Must be willing to bare various bodily parts in the interest of Science (only at critical times) and on demand. Must drink everyone else's champagne. Accent not important. Please send relevant photos to the Camaleis III Web Minder (expect it to be published on the CIII web page). Interview MAY be necessary.